America's Next Top Model Cycle 20- Episode 3 Review- "The Girl Who Gets Married Again"

Hey y’all! It’s the 20th cycle and 10^th year anniversary of the highest-rating (…not), most credible (lol. Not in your wildest dreams), and most successful (Naomi’s after you, Tyra. Watch out.) modeling competition!  It’s shows like these that are well-budgeted and well-thought out that don’t lose their edge after a decade. Lol jk. Before we all get tired of all the sarcasmo, here’s what happened on Top Model this week.

Last week, the judges (and by judges, I meant TYRA) chose the 16 finalists to compete for this cycle. Kicking off this cycle, Tyra announced that they will be walking for the CEO of Guess, paul Marciano in a fashion show which by the way, looks like it took place at the back of an abandoned building’s empty lot. However, we all know this ain’t Top Model if challenges didn’t have twists. Tyra announced that they will be walking horizontally down a building while it’s raining hard and strong winds are blowing. Then, Tyra announced that everybody’s PUNK’D (Know that Ashton Kutcher show?) and all of ‘em actually signed up for Dare Devil and not Top Model. SURPRISE, BITCHES!

Chris S: "Ok. I'mma just act like I'm surprised with this madness."

JUST KIDDING.However, hearing what they had to do felt like they did sign up for Dare Devil. It's almost like Tyra just came up with something crazy just for the sake of it and let me quote Renee, who walks in a runway like that? Yes, ma'am. No one. AND DID YOU GUYS LIKE THE NEW INTRO THIS CYCLE??? Comment your thoughts on it below.

Look at my fabulousness, mofos.

Backstage, Kelly and Johnny were chatting with the new cast for this cycle. Asking them things about who they think is hot, who they would date post-show, and things alike. I thought I was watching a modeling competition, not a dating show. The guys seemed to radiate towards Bianca... which I don't get why. Her look remind me of Helga from Hey Arnold.

The resemblance is uncanny.

And don't you just loved that "thing" (I don't even know how to call what the f*ck just happened) between Miss Chlea and the ever-so-sweet Kelly Cutrone? I thought it was pretty stupid. It felt like Kelly was taking her chance to stir things up because the show's ratings are going down so, she shall grab every opportunity to bitch around for drama's sake.

HAHA! Bitch got told!

CHALLENGE: VERTICAL RUNWAY

Is this Tyra's making up for Leila's loss?

Rob then introduces the guest judge for this challenge, Victoria Secret model Jessica Hart... I'M SORRY. I'm a huge Leila fan and she just reminds me of her and the bitter end of Leila's journey last cycle.

Anyway, all throughout the challenge, the models just looked stupid. You know how when you look down, the gravity almost feels like it's dragging all your face's skin and meat down, take a snapshot of it, and it looks horrible? That's how they looked like and felt like while watching them. It's just so uncomfortable to look at. I guess while watching it, Paul Marciano started to ponder why he had signed with Tyra for Top Model. HAHA seriously. *Straight face* All models but ONE. I have to say, Renee did amazingly! She looked sharp going down that building and her *actual* runway walk is POW! She definitely deserved to win that challenge.

They went home and the scoreboard displays all their challenge scores for the first round.
Here's how it boiled down:

Renee-     9

Marvin-    8

Alex-        7

Chris S.-   7

Cory-        7

Jeremy-    7

Nina-        7

Phil -         7

Chlea-      6

Chris H.-  6 

Don-         6

Jourdan-  6

Jiana-       6

Kanani-    6

Bianca-    5

Mike-      5

As the challenge winner, Renee has now the keys to the Tyra Suite, which by the way is FULL OF TYRA, and since the winner gets to pick somebody else in the house to join in the suite, Renee picked Kanani to share her prize with.

TYRAnt.

They also showed a snippet of Marvin announcing to everybody about his infamous condom which will expire the next day. I don't know to which one I'm baffled about: The fact that he brought condoms to the house or the fact that he's going up to just every girl begging them to get him laid. lol. Also, Marvin's getting pimped every episode, don't you notice? I, for one, is not impressed with his overall portfolio but maybe he's gonna go all the way just like how Kiara did... and I think that's why he's getting too much exposure every week. #CONSPIRACY

"All I need is five minutes." Way to impress the girls, Marvin.

PHOTO SHOOT: ALTERNATIVE MARRIAGE

They were surprised by Tyra at the photo shoot the next day. She announced a new twist to photos in Top Model this cycle, an innovation (-_-) called Flixel. Well... it's a GIF image. Each photo this cycle will have a moving element, just like her photo on the Tyra Mail with her 10-year-old weave flailing in the wind. 

Tyra also announced ANOTHER BUDGET CUT THIS CYCLE! She'll also be in-charge with makeup for every single photo shoot... but all I saw was her doing Jiana's... and Cory saying he's jealous of that. Tyra just PUNK'D all of 'em again! HAHA!

So basically, I noticed they just skimmed through everyone's shoot except for Jeremy and Jourdan's. Jourdan (for the nth time this cycle... and it's only been 2 episodes.) said that she got married and divorced at 18. This shoot, according to her (want of attention), brings back painful memories from her failed marriage. (Boohoo, bitch.)

PANEL

NO ONE is safe. Obviously, this implies that not only one will go home.

Mike seemed very affected by this since he got the lowest score. I never expected him to look like he cared about the show. His photos throughout the course of the competition seemed like he was bored, indifferent, and dispassionate about the whole thing.



Photo Evaluations

Alex and Mike: Shotgun Wedding

The judges are all crazy about Alexandra's picture. Tyra commented that she looks like she took control of the photo and soaked the theme in completely. However, it was the complete opposite with Mike. They said that he rested on what he has and did nothing to it. I agree. Alex dominated this picture. Her body language is so rich and it kinda gobbled up Mike's presence. I give her a 9 and Mike, a 5.


Chris S. and Renee- Thug Wedding

Kelly said Chris S. looks like a lesbian in this picture. I don't know why but when Kelly points out a thing about someone which you really didn't notice at first, but after she says it, you can't unsee it. HAHA! He did look like a lesbo in this photo. For Renee, Tyra commented that she looked a little bit hoochie. I give Chris a 6 and Renee a 7.

Kanani and Jiana: Same Sex Wedding

I actually love the both of them in this picture. The judges felt like Kanani was safe, which I completely disagree on. Yes, she is the softer lady between the two but this is in no way safe! Look at her pout and slight eyebrow raise... and Jiana. OH MY GOOD LORD, Jiana KILLED this. I would rank her first immediately after seeing this photo. She shows promise. I think out of all the girls, she's got the MOST potential. I give Kanani a 9; Jiana, 10. 10. 10!!!

Cory and Chlea: Biker Wedding

Everybody seemed to question Cory's gender-bending traits. I mean, come on. That's his "brand." I don't think that her adrogyny is a bad thing or is holding him back at all. CHLEA GOT TOLD AGAIN! lol! Kelly said she's BUSTED and called her a "foul-mouth." (Look who's talkin'. Guuuurrrrrl.) I ain't mad about their photo. I give Cory a 7 and Chlea a 5.

Phil: Objectophilia

The judges seemed to not love this shot at all. I don't too, however, I don't dread this shot as much as the judges did. I think his body language could've been better like what tyra said, but that face is SLAMMIN'! I give him an 8.

Chris H. and Don: Same Sex Marriage

I don't know if I'm being biased because I can relate to their photo, but I would rank this photo the best out of all the photos overall. Though, I'm not really a fan of Don's shot. I'm quite surprised with how the judges reacted to it. They said he looks like he's proud because of his stance. I think he just looks stiff and very uncomfortable. On the other hand, I AM IN LOVE with Chris H.'s shot. I think he embodied the facet of the Gay Community given to him. Very soft and feminine, yet VERY HOT! I give him a 10; Don, a 7.

Jeremy and Jourdan: Nudist Wedding

SOCIAL MEDIA LOVES THEM. I don't. The judges don't. I don't understand why these fans love these two! Jourdan even got the highest mark with 7.9. WHY?! I think this shot is the most boring shot out of the bunch. Pretty people. That's it. Nothing else. I give them both a 5.

Nina, Marvin and Bianca: Polygamous Wedding

Another baffling commentary from the judges. (1) Kelly hates Nina. WHY?! Doesn't she get Nina's look? Allison, another quirky girl from the show, travels all around the world doing different fashion shows, photo shoots, etc. She has become a huge success with her eccentric look. I think Nina is well capable of it, too. this shot, however, is not her money shot. (2) THEY LOVE MARVIN! I... am speechless. this made me question my knowledge about fashion and how male models should deliver and perform in a picture. Bianca's just kinda... there. I give Nina and Marvin a 7, and Bianca a 5.

Results:
....And the model with the highest score and best photo is:

MARVIN!

really?

Runner up: Don

and the rest:

Chris H.
Jiana
Alexandra
Cory
Jeremy
Renee
Nina
Jourdan
Kanani
Chlea
Phil

Bottom Three: Mike, Bianca, Chris S.

Mike was spared from elimination and Chris S. and Bianca were sent home. I would've loved to see Mike go home first because I think Chris S. is more capable of getting better. Oh well, this is Top Model and we've seen models who didn't come as far in the show as they did in the real world.

NEXT WEEK IS MAKEOVERS! I can't wait to see disasters happen again! HAHAHA
Did ya like this review? Any comments to improve it? Comment below! Let's see each other next week again, shall we? Ciao, bitches!